Aquaman, the bastard child of Nicole Kidman and the voice of every single Storm Trooper in the Star Wars prequels, is lured into a conquest to be king by Amber Heard’s cleavage. You see, the fate of the world is at stake and yada yada yada, family drama, yada yada yada, big CGI set pieces, and boom, the DC/Warner Bros team releases yet another bad superhero film. Mic drop, in the fish tank!

Oh DCEU, what are you doing? What is this silliness? Jason Momoa has charisma to spare, but seemingly limitless charm and twitchy pectoral muscles do not a complete film make. I get the feeling James Wan was shooting for irreverent fun, but instead, he bulls-eyes cheesy histrionics. By the end of this over two-hour slog through the ocean blue, I was laughing at it, not with it.

This is a movie that tries to cram too much into its production. Those folks new to the character will undoubtedly get lost amidst the jumble of Atlantean mythos and its key supporting characters. They could have saved the Black Manta subplot for the sequel, and the film would have been better for it.

At its core, this is the legend of King Arthur story, but in the ocean, with some comic book law as window dressing. The visual effects are mostly okay, but the story jumps around in a nonsensical jumble. Flashbacks, exposition dumps, Nicole Kidman in her silly fish costume, it’s all quite laughable. Except this film never reaches the lofty heights of “so bad, it’s good.” It’s just bad.

Starring: Jason Momoa, Amber Heard, Willem Dafoe, Patrick Wilson, Nicole Kidman, Dolph Lundgren, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Temuera Morrison

Directed by: James Wan

Screenplay by: David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick, Will Beall

Rating: PG-13 Running Time: 2 hr 23 min.

References: IMDB

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