Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Priyanka Chopra, Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass
Directed by: Seth Gordon
Written by: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift
Rating: R Running Time: 1 hr 56 min
Wow, just wow! Baywatch is terrible in just about every way possible. The story doesn’t make any sense, the visual effects are terrible, the action is poorly shot, and the dialogue is shocking. There are scenes where it sounds like the lines from two different screenplays were copied and pasted into the one script. There was no flow or logic in the exchanges. It was actually a little fascinating in a way, and might almost be worth studying further if it wasn’t so damn annoying!
Baywatch wants to be tongue-in-cheek, but then it goes for semi-serious TV level drama. It attempts to throw in some gross-out humor, and then actually tries (and fails) to build an arc for Zac Efron’s character, Brody. None of this works. This is Baywatch the TV show meets Revenge of the Nerds meets The A-Team. The action is constantly interrupted with gratuitous slow-motion shots, and the one element we probably all remember from the TV show—gorgeous women in bikinis—somehow isn’t a memorable part of this film. I hardly ever watched the original TV show, but I still to this day remember hilariously exploitive shots of Pamela Anderson working various gym equipment!
This is dumb, and it isn’t so bad that it’s actually good. Keep your expectations in the gutter for this one.
There was a moment at a bar with Matt Brody (Zac Efron) and Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra), where each character’s dialogue seemed written to move the plot forward, while simultaneously connect the dots with other unimportant elements in the film. This exchange also tries to explore Brody’s back story (which never gets fully explained by the way). Absolutely bizarre.