Starring: Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Michael Chiklis
Directed by: Taylor Hackford
Written By: John J. McLaughlin
Rating: R (US) Running Time: 1 hr 58 min
When you’re unlucky enough to come across a movie as bad as Parker, you can’t help but scan the IMDB pages to refresh your memory on the past work of everyone guilty of putting this mess on the screen. For writing we have movies like Black Swan and Hitchcock. For directing we get movies like Ray and An Officer and a Gentleman. Look who’s staring in it too and we find films like The Bank Job and Out of Sight. Everyone involved has, and is capable of being part of a quality production. So what happen with Parker?
The film is incredibly muddled as places, names and motivations get thrown around with little care or attention to telling a coherent story. You might buy that Parker (Jason Statham) is some kind of honorable thief, but you’ll really have to stretch to believe he’d take on his old gang and their many lethal family connections purely because they stole a little money from him. Especially when he’s offered said cash early on in the film, and moves on regardless because of some ridiculous set of principals he lives by. For the life of me I can’t understand why Jennifer Lopez is in this movie. Well, I can think of one reason someone thought she needed to be in this film. That involves a stupidly written scene simply designed to get her to undress. The film is mostly set in Florida. They could have reduced her part to a cameo, relaxing by a pool in a bikini. Believe me it would have been an huge improvement. The logic of having Jason Statham pretend to be a wealthy Texan just boggles the mind, and well – well, I think I’ve made myself clear enough. I didn’t like this film at all.
The opening few minutes as the team robs a community fair is pretty much the only coherent piece of film making during the whole two hours. Do not be fooled by this. Go into this with your expectations set really low, and you might get some enjoyment out of it.
Best viewing format:
Use your preferred streaming service to watch this. At times, I thought this looked like a TV movie.
Worst moment for me: << spoiler >>
Failed real estate agent Leslie Rodgers (Jennifer Lopez) shows up at the house where the heavily armed thieves are hiding out because she doesn’t want Parker, the career criminal to – and I quote: “screw this up.”