Starring: Kellan Lutz, Gaia Weiss, Scott Adkins
Directed by: Renny Harlin
Written By: Sean Hood, Daniel Giat, Renny Harlin, Giulio Steve
Rating: PG-13 (US) Running Time: 1 hr 39 min
You know what? I do really try to walk into the theater with an open mind. Ready to give each an every movie a fair trial before I blog my judgment. But after seeing the trailer for this new Hercules movie, I just knew it was going to stink! So, I set my expectations really low. I figured if they at least make the battle scenes entertaining to watch and don’t take themselves too seriously, I’d have something positive to say about it.
Sadly, while the action does have its very few shining moments, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d seen this kind of thing before. I few titles came to mind. 300. Gladiator. Spartacus the movie. Spartacus the TV show. Hercules the Disney animated movie, and accompanying promotion figurines available with a happy meal. ALL BETTER than The Legend of Hercules!
Hercules looks cheap, and the acting (well .. being on the screen and talking and stuff) is laughably bad. I couldn’t figure out why Kellan Lutz was even in this movie. Maybe they thought he was pretty or something. Hunky maybe? Tanned. Certainly tanned that’s for sure. Or was it dirt? I had a hard time figuring that out. This movie made me wish I was back in the 80’s. At least then we’d have a proper God sized Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Hercules. Was Dwayne Johnson busy? What about Dave Bautista? He’s HUGE! It felt like we ended up with the son of Zeus-lite. A Hercules that does Pilates, eats his leafy greens, and keeps an eye on his blood pressure. This film needed a Hercules that could bench press a cow while simultaneously eating a bloody rare steak!
If you’ve seen 300 and/or Gladiator. Go watch them again and leave this one alone. Failing that, just expect a very loud, very stupid movie and lots of overly pretty men screaming at the sky. A movie that doesn’t even have the good sense not to take itself too seriously.
The cheap visual effects are a bit of a let down, but this will still work best on the big screen. Just do a matinée if you can’t wait for this to be available on your Netflix or Amazon Prime streaming list.
Worst element for me:
All the screaming at the sky. A lost count of how many times different characters pointed their sword props at the sky and started screaming. All the shouting too. And (eye-roll) the clichéd rally the troops speech by Hercules – hilarious! I wouldn’t follow him into battle, but I’d certainly check out his show at the Improv!